Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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