she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
