That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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