And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize