Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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