I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
