I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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