Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize