he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
COCAINE IS GR8
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
