Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
BRING THE BAGELS
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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