I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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