This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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