we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
