After last night, I could never be a politician.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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