well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
