So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
only if we run a train.
done.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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