Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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