The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize