Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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