before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
