i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
