Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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