Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
