We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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