apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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