u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
