david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
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