I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
