new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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