Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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