yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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