I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Who wears a wallet chain?!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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