ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
