We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
