omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize