Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
