Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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