At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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