Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do vagina's smell?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
