you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
