I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I need moral support for this bender
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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