i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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