Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
