Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
