I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
