On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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