Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
