Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
