would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
