What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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