YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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