chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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