remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
