So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
