i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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