Whod you bang
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
