Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
