i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I would fuck him just for his dog
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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