And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
