Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
