I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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